• I'm a busy boy and would rather light my head on fire than spend another minute messaging strangers on dating apps
• Most women understandably need more information about the guy in order to feel safe and secure, hence this website's existence
• If you are a confident adult then let's go on a date
• I swear I'm not on the spectrum

• 33 years old
• Looking for relationship
• Canadian
• 6'3"/191cm 🎊
• In shape & healthy
• Work for myself as a web dev in the creative space and I love what I do for a living (I made this purposely shitty website in an hour so gimmie a break)
• Want kids (probably 2)
• Don't smoke and rarely drink
• Liberal and understanding of traditional values. Left of center
• More cute than hot
• I have a skin care routine
• I am 90% sure I have nerve damage on the left side of my right toe

• Energetic and extroverted. Thrive in group settings. Bring 7 of your friends to the first date, I don't give a shit
• Bold and a little unfiltered at times
• I'm a bit of a softy 👉👈 🥹
• If you aren't someone who actively contributes to the conversation and reciprocates questions back at me I'll politely fill in the awkward pauses but my brain will become under-stimulated and I will begin to feel like a podcast host where my show is guests who have recently exited a cave and experienced socialization for the first time in 25 years. At this point I will begin rapid-firing questions at you to fill in the time while on the inside I will be praying for a sponsorship break to come soon

• I never go to bed angry and prefer to talk about it. Big on the communication if there is any sort of tension
• I take pride in being respectful and patient with my partner
• I value personal growth
• I prioritize health and fitness
• I'm happy to sit down and listen if life's got you down
• I've never cheated
• I prioritize long-term savings and financial stability (but enjoy spending money on traveling/experiences as well - I try to balance this all out)
• I'm a goal-oriented person and if I really want something I work hard for it
• All for constructive criticism
• Could probably get a LinkedIn reco from my exes
• Advocate for therapy
• Very trusting. So much so that I was recently scammed for custom tailored suits while travelling Thailand ("why would they lie about the materials used? Nobody would run a business based on falsities. That's unethical and these people from India living in Bangkok would never do that to me. They called me 'brother' around 20 times and I have only known them for 5 minutes. He even has the Hindu painting mark thing on his forehead, this shows he cares deeply about his religion and being a moral person. I like these people")
• Not naive at all 😤💪🏻

• Willing to make a website like this
• Scorpio
• Direct opposite of someone who love bombs and will show more affection over time
• I can be a little unfiltered and politically incorrect at times (don't worry, I stay within the realm of sanity aka I'm not running around yelling the N word)
• Learned all the lyrics to WAP specifically for karaoke (don't worry, I replace the N words in the song with more acceptable words for a person with my skin colour. "Beat it up 'bud', catch a charge" etc)
• Don't have social media (except for LinkedIn) and think social media (including LinkedIn) is terrible
• Had a flip phone until recently
• Not a big texter and prefer phone calls. Old soul. Who is technology
• Super independent and appreciate personal time
• Need more hobbies. Work/life balance needs improvement
• Can be fairly self-critical. Working on being kinder to myself 🥹

• I show love primarily through acts of service, quality time & physical touch. Words of affirmation and giving gifts will come down the road as I become more emotionally connected
• I like receiving love through quality time & physical touch. I become more open to the others as we get to know each other more
• I like making dinner together 🥹👉👈

• Van life is on the bucket list. Big road trip guy
• One time my friends and I drove 800km to buy McDonald's Pizza from its last remaining location
• I spent 6 out of the past 12 months this past year in a caloric deficit
• Quite sensitive to caffeine
• Have travelled to around 20 countries
• Was vegan for 2 years. Tried making a vegan cooking channel but it sucked and I got bored so I quit
• Look great in a tuxedo

• Dark humour
• Sarcasm
• Batshit insanity

Examples of things I find funny (I absolutely don't expect you to laugh at all/any of these but if you don't find any funny please understand we will likely not be a good fit):

TV Shows:

• I Think You Should Leave
• Nathan for You
• Conk on Earth
• Summer Heights High
• Tim and Eric
• The Rehearsal

The following Youtube videos:

• This stupid video
• Most videos from Almost Friday
• This video

If someone were to view my top played songs on Spotify, they'd assume I was an deeply closeted divorced dad who thinks sending Harlem Shake videos to his estranged children will fix things.

I apologize in advance:

• Top Songs 2025
• Top Songs 2024
• Top Songs 2023
• Top Songs 2022
• Top Songs 2021
• Top Songs 2020
• Top Songs 2019
• Top Songs 2018
• Top Songs 2017
• Top Songs 2016

• Life, man
• Ambitions and goals
• Travel
• Values
• Diet and fitness
• Purpose and meaning
• Spiritualism / Religion
• Challenges that plague our existence

• Probably going to be a coffee walk & talk or grab a non-alcoholic beer
• Open to ideas, I'm easy

• Indian food
• Green curry
• Smash burgers
• A thicc ice cream. Ideally something with fudge and peanut butter
• A meaty bolognese
• A fat steak
• Anything airfried
• My Ninja Creami protein ice cream recipe
• Arby's absolutely shreds and if you don't think so maybe it's best we go our own ways before things become violent
• Our wedding will be Arby's themed and your wedding dress will be made of processed roast beef slices
• There is no room for negotiation here so if you don't like this then take a hike, kick rocks

• Confidence
• Passionate about SOMETHING. Bonus points if it's your career you're passionate about
• Gotta be sweet and spicy. Like a sriracha honey glazed chicken wing. Call me out for my bullshit but also give me hugs when I need them
• Silly & witty back-and-forth banter. Candidates must be down 2 clown. My brain categorizes funny people as noteable people. Self-awareness gives the joke its cream filling
• Compassionate. I don't want the mother of my children to be a Fox News mom
• Positivity. Sometimes life dumps a bucket of dog dicks on our heads and we must embrace the situation with love and radical acceptance. "I am currently experiencing sadness because I am up to my neck in dog dicks but I will get through this" etc
• Vulnerable conversations about life/passions/values/goals
• People who are introspective and recognize when they are lying to themselves. BIG one
• People who challenge themselves and don't stay too comfortable